Hell Hath No Fury like a Pissed off Consumer

This is going to be a random post and I will do my update on the holidays and how I fared with that.

First off, let me just start this post with a warning: I tend to have absolutely ZERO filter. My opinions are my own. If you think it’s too foul, then don’t read it. I won’t apologize for who I am or what I believe in.

About two weeks ago I had issues with my cable modem through Comcast, I couldn’t stay connected and do my work, so like anyone else, I called Comcast to find out what was going on. I was told that my modem was no longer compatible with their Internet services. Mind you, I RENT my modem out, because Comcast won’t allow you to buy it outright. I assume this is because they constantly change their damn modems. Well, I never received a head’s up or a warning that I was going to need to take my modem in to swap it for a newer, updated modem. I was livid about that. It was only 7 am and the Comcast customer service center in town did not open until 10 am. I lost 3 hours of work that day due to Comcast’s incompetence. So I go pick up my modem, hook it up, activate it, and the damn thing stops working. I call them back, livid, furious, and while dealing with this, I realize that the person I am speaking with has an accent. So I ask, “Are you in America?” And the rep says, “No, we are in India”. Pissed off, I said, “Yeah, that figures.” I demanded to speak with a supervisor and the supervisor was also in India and hard to understand. After explaining my story for the fourth time, she offered to send a technician out to see what the problem was, and offered to credit me for that day since I lost many hours of work. The tech came out and fixed the problem.

Fast forward to today, I go to check my bill online and it states I have a $50 service call fee and no credit for that day I lost service (and work hours). So, once again, I call Comcast, because 1, I never ordered or asked for this, 2, it was ordered by a “supervisor”, and 3, I refuse to pay for something that is not my fault. So again, I speak with someone in India, who advises me there are no supervisors to speak with. So I ask him what he can do for me and why is this on my bill. I get the same scripted bullshit: “Unfortunately because you had a technician come out, we have to charge for the service”. For the 10th time I tell him, “I NEVER ordered this – a ‘supervisor’ did. I WILL not pay for this”. Shouting match ensues and I have gotten so damn riled up that I start cussing this guy out and threatening to contact the Better Business Bureau to lodge a complaint. In the end I now have to wait for a “supervisor” to contact me back tomorrow. Hell hath no fury like a pissed off consumer!

I have worked in two call centers before, and do I feel bad for cussing and shouting at the guy? No. He was shouting at me and was completely incompetent. Not to mention the thought of outsourcing American jobs to India is something that truly crawls under my skin and pisses me off more than I can say. I have seen colleagues laid off because our company decided to outsource. Is it other country’s faults? No. But when it boils down to it, my anger is directed at them, because my job could be next. And if you can’t do your job correctly, then you don’t deserve to have a job that someone like me could do a HELL of a lot better!

Alright…breathing now…

I did well on Thanksgiving. I managed my carb intake by watching what I ate. However, I did not measure my food out. Instead, I trusted myself and put less on my plate. I also did NOT overindulge and that is something I am very proud of.

That being said…

This past weekend I was horrible. I didn’t log in MFP at all. Not once. I knew my carbs were off the chart. I got it together on Monday, but yesterday I blew it big time, consuming 88 grams of carbs in one day. Today I am at about 50 grams for the day. The fact that I am yo-yoing is concerning, but I am dealing with some nasty carb cravings, yet again. I’m trying to be mindful, but it just isn’t enough. It doesn’t help that I have weigh-in on Friday. I would NOT be surprised if I show a weight gain. If I do, I just hope like hell that it is no more than 3 pounds.

Something that did perk me up was when I rode vanpool on Monday, I noticed that my belt in the front was no longer snug and cutting off my circulation. Instead, it was loose and had slack to it. I hope this means it is working!

No motivation to write

I have been dealing with writer’s block for the past few day and I am still stumbling on some issues with it. Mostly it is due to extenuating circumstances that are keeping me from having the time to blog, but here I am today, what a day it has been. If you know me, it is no secret that Sundays are dedicated to watching American football. I am a Green Bay Packers fan (bandwagon, won’t lie) and New Orleans Saints fan (by birth, my mother). Right now the Packers are struggling with not only winning, but keeping their players healthy. Today’s game against the Philadelphia Eagles just proved how vulnerable the team was and is to injuries. Several key players were injured and unable to return, including the second string QB, Aaron Rodger’s back up. Aaron Rodgers is out with a broken collarbone for 4-6 weeks…not the best news in the world and everyone in Packerland is reeling from it but still holding strong for the team to pull through. So Seneca Wallace, the back up, was injured today, something about his groin…and the THIRD string QB, a guy I have never heard of before, Scott Tolzien, had to come in. Tolzien came in off of the practice squad, and despite an interception (or two?), he did the best he could and gave it all he had. I wish Packer fans who are being relentless and merciless on him could understand that this kid is from the practice squad. He isn’t Seneca Wallace and is no Matt Flynn (who the Packers SHOULD bring back, just saying..). Give the kid a break. So who is Tolzien’s backup if HE gets hurt (GOD FORBID)? John Kuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnn. No kidding. Still rooting for and holding for the Pack to get stronger and work on that defense, because they need help. I know they can do it. Next up: The Saints and Cowboys. WHO DAT?

Onto my diet, the Keto Flu seems to have disappeared from my life, with the exception of some bowel issues, which I think we could attribute more to something I ate rather than the low carb/high protein ratio. Friday night we decided to go out to dinner as it was a rare early night off for my boyfriend, and we found ourselves at a local restaurant. I scanned the menu for what I thought would be appropriate enough, and went with a savory chicken breast burger on a ciabiatta bun and a house salad with balsamic vinaigrette. It was a smart choice, however, the carbs in the bun alone was sky-high and put me at 105 grams for the day. It happens. My nurse upped me to 80 grams a day, so I feel more confident in what I am doing now. Yesterday was my “Cheat Day”, and while I didn’t mean to go overboard, when all was said and done, my carb intake was absolutely horrible. 255 grams of carbs! I started off with a Tall Chai Egg Nog Latte and a Chocolate Meringue Cookie from Starbucks, and dinner ended up at Denny’s, where I had a double cheeseburger (trying to sneak in fat and protein the unhealthy way!), but I ate the bun too. I had maybe 1/8th of my fries and gave the rest to my boyfriend. I should have asked for the burger without the bun, but I really wanted the bun, so I gave up my fries for the bun. Smart…not. Oh well. Live and learn.

Today my carbs will be around 65-70 grams, and on target, if I can manage to get the rest of the food down that I have planned. I haven’t been hungry and have been dealing with stomach problems (likely due to the Denny’s food, no doubt) all day. I had a protein shake with Almond Breeze Almond Milk and a scoop of Vanilla Whey Protein Powder. Dinner tonight will be some farm fresh eggs a colleague brought me from the chickens she is raising, some sausage, and not sure about the carb yet…might do an English Muffin. I am also going to try my hand at making Lemon Blondies using Almond Meal and Truvia in place of white flour and sugar.

I am going to do some shopping at Costco next Saturday as we are running out of what we need, so it will be time to stock up on some food to boost my protein. Tuna, string cheese, frozen turkey burgers for my lunches, etc. I am going to also see if they have Almond Meal or Flour in bulk, because I just spent $13 on a small bag that I think equals to 3-4 pounds but I doubt it. Maybe 2 pounds if I am lucky. Bobs Mills Almond Meal. Expensive. I can actually make goodies with this and keep the carbs down. A lot of my friends doing the Paleo diet are obsessed with Almond Meal/Flour and Coconut Oil (another thing I need to buy). Hopefully my next blog will be a post stating that I was successful at making the Lemon Blondies with the almond meal and Truvia!

Homesick

I’m originally from Monterey, CA…one of the most beautiful places ever. Being stuck up in Bellingham, WA does not make me happy. I have voiced my disdain and my hatred for being stuck in a situation where I feel trapped and unhappy. In late March/early April 2012, we took a short trip down to Monterey for my sister’s wedding and to visit the family. When I left there, I left a piece of my heart behind. I nearly cried when I first got into Monterey and saw all of the familiar sights and smelled the ocean. I had taken for granted this beautiful place I grew up in when I lived there. When I left my heart sunk. Ever since then I have battled a crippling depression that also led to my weight gain, my body aches, and a sense of doom and gloom.

I’ve decided to stay here in Bellingham until my daughter graduates high school, as her father is here and I refuse to take her away from him. It’s a very tough sacrifice I have decided to make as it is best for her. My boyfriend also has made the sacrifice as well, as he is from Wisconsin. He loved Monterey and both of us would love to move there, however, it is a pipe dream, and I must come to terms with the fact that I will never live there again. The cost of living is way too high and unobtainable. Not to mention, my current job will not allow me to relocate there.

My homesickness stemmed from my casual viewing of Yelp and restaurants all over Monterey Bay, from Marina to Seaside to Monterey to Pacific Grove…places I am very familiar with. As I viewed each restaurant that was so familiar to me, it invoked this sense of home, but also this sense of anxiety-inducing panic. It was an odd feeling and I began to psychoanalyze the meaning behind this. I almost couldn’t breathe while looking at these restaurants. Could food be a causation of my anxiety? Could the mere viewing of familiar restaurants I knew of or visited as a child or young adult send me into a panic, one where I feel I will never see home again? I am not sure. Every picture I saw invoked some memory, both good and bad. There is a lot of history there that brings me back to all kinds of different places in my life, from the good to the bad.

Perhaps I am over-analyzing what caused me to panic. Perhaps it’s just that I am missing my family and my home so much that it makes it hard to breathe. I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, wishing and longing to be with those I miss so dearly, even if they drive me nuts at times.

I think another reason I became a bit panic-induced was from the memories of growing up as a teenager in a low-income, single parent household. Things have changed so much from that time to now. I am not a single parent as my boyfriend lives with me, but I am no longer married to my daughter’s father. I have had my struggles since I left him and filed for divorce, but somehow I made it. We had issues growing up with running out of food quickly and basically believing that we needed to hurry up and eat our food NOW before it disappeared. I think a lot of that lead to this weight gain on top of the comfort eating when I could. I find myself starting to panic on the inside when I notice that food supplies are running low, but I have NEVER encountered what I did as a teenager as a single mother or after that. I never want my daughter to go without, and it is and has always been my goal to make sure we have everything we need. I admit that sometimes we live beyond our means, but in the end, we do better than my mom did alone. There was a point during my senior year of high school where my mom was dead broke and we had barely anything left in the house for a couple of days. It was so bad that while I was working my after-school job, my mom scrounged up what change she had to buy me a then-49 cent hamburger from McDonald’s. To this day, that memory alone makes me want to cry.

Food has played such a huge role in my life…from the time I was young til now. I’m starting to realize that a lot of this emotional burden I have is due to the memories surrounding food and poverty and going without and worrying my family will go without as well. Layoffs and job loss are always on my mind. It’s something I have dealt with before, and it’s something that is always inevitable. It scares me but I can’t allow that fear to take over my life. For now all I can do is make sure we have all we need, and work on not allowing that fear to consume me.