Snow snow go away…

I shouldn’t complain. I have followers in the hardest hit states right now dealing with unimaginable cold temperatures. We here in Whatcom County in Washington State just experienced a very very rare late winter snow dumping that stalled life as we know it. Sunday we started seeing snow accumulate at a fast pace. Before we knew it, parts of our county (including where I live) were under a foot of snow. We NEVER see that much snow here. Typically it’s 2-4 inches, but never a foot. My friend who lives more out in county saw 2 feet of snow. Unbelievable. While the kids loved it and were so excited to have snow days, us adults were scrambling on trying to decide if we go into work and brave the roads which were in horrible conditions. We’re talking snow drifts, poor visibility, no road visibility, ice, you name it. Tons of roll over accidents, tons of vehicles in ditches, and the worst I had heard of was several semis stuck on the road and going nowhere. Tons of semis in ditches, some roll-over accidents. You do not mess around in this type of weather. I begged and pleaded my boyfriend to return home early on Sunday night, he worked a shorter shift and left around 7pm as the roads were starting to get treacherous. He is from Wisconsin so this doesn’t faze him. I’m from California! It’s a national emergency to me, and he laughs. Everyone is different…

So I was stuck in the house until Wednesday afternoon. I wasn’t able to get to the gym until today. The sun is out and the snow is all about gone, but only to turn around and find out that we have another snow system moving in from Canada. Lovely. One minute they’re reporting it will be like last week, the next minute they’re saying it won’t be like last week. The weather models change so fast that I won’t even rely on them anymore. I just hope that this weather stops  with this snow stuff soon. We didn’t have much of a winter to begin with, so it hitting so late in the season is very strange. Typically we will get snow all the way into April but we’re talking a dusting here. Not a foot. Not even more than 3 inches.

Due to my neck injury I canceled my appointments with my weight loss doc and others, so I wasn’t able to get weighed last week. I drove in today for a weigh-in. Good news? I didn’t gain any weight. Bad news? I didn’t lose any weight either. I am at a standstill. I have literally lost 23 lbs in total since early October and we’re almost in March now.  I told the nurse that I was going to keep it real and admitted that I have NOT been following my low-carb plan at all for the past week or two. All this yo-yoing is making it hard to lose the weight and I do realize that. There are no excuses for it. The thing I am starting to realize is that maybe I need to stop with the high amount of protein they want me to ingest (because frankly, 135 grams at the very least per day, is far too much in my humble opinion). Carbs? I’m lucky if I can keep them under 60 grams a day. I’m seriously considering going to a nutritionist who is not affiliated with my weight loss doctor. I don’t like his “nutritionist” who is basically a nurse trained in bariatric surgery. I don’t care for the advice I am given, I don’t agree with protein shakes being the only saving grace for me, etc. I think a lot is being lost in translation as I went in originally doing a prep for weight loss surgery. Now that I have decided against the weight loss surgery, this diet does not make sense. I need someone who can steer me in the right direction because I feel like maybe I am sabotaging myself.  Please do not get me wrong, I do care. But sometimes I feel like what I have been doing is all for not, and I am not 100% on board with the nutrition plan they gave me in late October. Not anymore, anyhow. Something needs to change, and fast, but we are lacking nutritionists in this area. At least it seems like it.

A friend who is trained in fitness told me that I am possibly plateauing because of the exercise as well as being more active, but I just started exercising about 2 weeks ago. I would think that is too soon to build up muscle to the point of not showing a weight loss, would you? That being said, I love the gym. My problem is finding the time…so I am going to work out at work at our gym when I can when I am in office.

I recently went in with my boyfriend on a gym membership for my daughter for her birthday which is coming up soon. She will be 14 years old and will be in high school next year. She’s always mentioned how she wanted to work out, and loves the elliptical, so we bought her a gym membership and today she went and worked out with me. Her legs are hurting pretty good, needless to say, but I expected it as she was pushing herself way too hard and going too fast to begin with. I had to tell her to slow it down and ease into it.  We were only able to do a 20 minute workout because her father  was going to pick her up from my home for his parenting time. I got through my workout a bit more easier than I thought, but the last 5 minutes were tough. I decided to turn on the TV on my recumbent bike and watch it to keep my mind pre-occupied from the pain and it worked! Nothing like watching a bunch of idiots fighting on The Real Housewives of Atlanta to keep you working out and not paying attention to the pain! (Hey, it is a bad vice, I admit it, but I do love this show…)

Here’s to another great work out tomorrow…

Advertisements

Frustration

Dealing with frustration with my weight loss attempts…from constantly being sick to this neck injury that won’t go away, to my problems with staying on the low-carb bandwagon. I feel like the 20 pounds I have lost (last weigh-in was mid or late January) since late October aren’t enough to prove I have gotten far. I’m frustrated with having to answer to my health coach and set stupid goals, and frustrated in general about answering to anyone. I keep trying to tell myself that this is part of the weight loss plan, but it is hard to live up to sometimes.

Another thing that bugs me is when I am done working out on the recumbent bike and I hear “that’s it?” Seriously? For someone who hasn’t worked out in years, to get past 15 minutes doing cardio at this size is pretty damn good. I know they mean well, but I am not 130 lbs soaking wet. I can’t move my body in the ways that they can, and to assume that it is as easy for me as it is for them pisses me off. There is a lot of weight to be moved here, it isn’t as simple as working out for more than 20 minutes for me at this point. I have to build up to it. That being said, I feel like a complete failure this week as I have worked out once and that’s it. I was supposed to go to the gym today, however, I took too many muscle relaxers and pain meds last night so I am loopy, plus it is due to snow hard, and I am not comfortable driving in the snow especially with a bad neck. My boyfriend is working so that is not an option. What am I supposed to do?

The guilt of not being right or not staying on track is driving me insane. Something isn’t clicking for me at the moment and I know I need to, or 20 lbs will be all I see in terms of weight loss. I just want people off of my back and I need the willpower to know I can do this. I was so confident before, but being plagued with illness and now this neck injury makes me cranky and feeling like a failure. I have to start physical therapy for my neck as well, because this is happening far too often.

Nasty weather and an unforeseen setback

We are going through a deluge of extremely windy and wet weather here in Washington State. I know what you’re thinking…that’s news? Well, out here it is nothing new, but the winds are the worst I have encountered in a very long time. Gusts up to 60 mph, very large gusts of wind consistently blowing to the point where it sounds like my sliding deck door is going to blow right in. It’s rather unnerving, and I am not the kind of person who is unsettled by windy conditions, hell, I don’t mind driving in them, but this is for the birds. We’re also dealing with a deluge of rain, and when it’s windy, rain will go sideways and create havoc on the roads. From standing puddles of water to clogged gutters to zero visibility, it’s pretty scary out there. 

Now onto my setback. Remember my last blog entry? The Work Out Game? I felt so great, and so full of adrenaline. Then I woke up with very sore muscles the next day from choosing to go onto the circuit and lift weights that won’t allow you to go below 35 lbs. Can you see where I am going with this? So on Saturday I went for my deep tissue massage and I knew it would hurt. Went to the gym to work out and this time it was harder than I anticipated. The last 5 minutes of my 20 minute work out I really struggled through and hit a wall I never expected to hit. Sunday went okay, it was my rest day.

Fast forward to yesterday…woke up, nothing out of the norm. As I was putting make up on, I had this sharp shooting pain start at the base of my skull on the left side of my head. It shot all the way to the top of my head, centralized on the left side of my head. I couldn’t continue putting make-up on, and told my boyfriend I was hurting horribly. The next thing I knew my left arm felt numb. The first thing I thought to myself was, I am having a stroke. So I went ahead and looked up the symptoms and had my boyfriend do the FAST test on me. F= Face, A= Arms, S= Speech, T= Time. I passed them fine, but called my doctor immediately. It took a while for them to get back to me, but they got me in for an appointment. While we waited to drive to the doctor’s office, I lost balance and fell forward, on my knees. By this time I was damn near a panic attack stage, so I asked my boyfriend to keep me calm, and he did a great job. I was scared of what was going on with me.

We got to the doctor’s office and it wasn’t a stroke, but a pinched nerve in my neck. I have had neck problems and nerve problems in my neck in the past, but lifting those weights when I was not ready to is what caused me to end up with a pinched nerve. This is what lead to the numbness in my arm (and a little in my face) as well as the shooting pains in my head and the tenderness and pain in my neck and lack of range of motion in my head/neck. So now I am on a regimen of Methacarbomol, which is a muscle relaxer. I refuse to use Cyclobenzaprine, I have been on it in the past and it made life miserable. I hate muscle relaxers as it is. I am also on Vicodin for the pain. Neither are helping with the shooting pains in my head, but they sure do knock me out. I am working today but luckily from home. I cancelled all appointments for this week, including my weight loss check up, which is now extended out another month as my doctor is very booked. I will likely drop by there and get weighed for my own knowledge when I am feeling better. But I cannot drive and I am not taking the chance on that.

So now because of this, I am unable to get to the gym to even do the recumbent bike. It’s a lesson learned but such a let down. The health scare of a potential stroke was a frightening ordeal yesterday, and all I kept saying was “why?? I have been trying to do everything right, I am too young to have a stroke, it’s this goddamned weight”. Well, if anything, it just pushes me to continue to do what I have been doing. I am very disappointed in not being able to work out. I might be able to get a workout in on Friday and Saturday if I am feeling better. We shall see.

The Work Out Game

I am about 95% healthy now and doing great. Last Saturday I ran to the gym I signed up with to get my keyfob and had a short introductory work out on the recumbent bike for about 5 minutes. I went on Monday for my first work out and it was tough. 25 minutes on the recumbent bike, following instructions from my exercise doctor. 10 minute “warm up”, meaning that I am pedaling slow to get my legs going. It hurt bad at first and my calves started tensing up as if they were going to cramp. Once I got through that at the 10 minute mark, I got a second wind and extra needed burst of energy to start pushing myself to pedaling harder and faster (without resistance, per doctor’s orders). I made it to 17 minutes and had to get off of it as I hurt too much and just could not do anymore. I took a 1-2 minute break then got back on for another 2-3 minutes and that was all she wrote. For someone who is very inactive, I was proud of myself and I think I did well.

My orders are no more than 3x a week and 20-30 minutes on a recumbent bike only. She did not say anything about or against conditioning to tone myself up. Today I went to the gym for my 2nd workout for the week, and got my chair back into a good position where I wasn’t as scrunched up as last time. One of the hardest things is getting into the straps for the bicycles, it is so tricky. It’s almost a work-out in itself. Once I got into it, I noticed my legs had more ample room to start my warm up and this time, the warm up was not bad at all, and I made it to 20 minutes without a break and did well. After that I decided to start the circuit and do a couple of machines. I used to this at another gym years ago. WOW am I out of shape. I couldn’t even get 2 minutes worth of reps on each machine and my muscles in my arms are hurting good. I don’t want to push it too hard so I stopped when I noticed it was too much for me. 

Right now I am working on hydration and resting as my muscles are seeming to cramp up in my arms. This is not easy by far but it gives me such an adrenaline rush and I feel GREAT. Crazy what a good work out can do.

As for my low-carb, high protein diet, I have been beyond good, but bored on it. I am trying to find ways to spice things up on my menus. The amino acids I am taking help tremendously, but I am still dealing with cravings. I’m trying to substitute fibrous fruits for the starches (cake, etc) I have craved. However, last night I had a cupcake and I felt it immediately. The amount of sugar and carbs completely wrecked my stomach and that pain led all the way into this morning. It is with this realization that the changes in my life are finally working, but it’s also realizing that I cannot eat what I used to eat. If I am going to splurge, it will have to be a small bite, instead of an entire cupcake or an entire piece of cake or an entire brownie, etc. 

I am feeling pretty good right about now.

“I’ve only known you as a big person”

These are the words that came out of my daughter’s mouth yesterday as we were discussing my weight loss and everything I am doing. It wasn’t a dig, it was just an observation and an awe-inspiring moment with my daughter. All her life all she has known me has been as a big woman, from the moment she was born. To see me lose more weight, and to see me get down at least 100 pounds is going to be different for all of us involved. That is the goal…I’m down 20 pounds. Well, 23, but I’ll say 20 as those 3 were gained early on, so 80 lbs to go. I will get there.

Today I have been feeling slightly better, until a coughing fit hit me. I am pretty sure it’s all sinus related. I had an acupuncture session yesterday that really opened up my channels to my sinuses and helped tremendously. I went into the office with massive pressure and pain on my left side, and left the office open and clear and feeling relief. It’s amazing what acupuncture will do. I am a true believer of acupuncture. I feel like it is the only thing that has truly helped open my sinuses and helped with my migraines. 

So today I went out and got quite a bit done, even though I had originally planned to stay at home. I took my daughter for a haircut, took her shopping for some clothes, went shopping for a new bed for her, went to my new gym and picked up my keyfob and even got a 5 minute work-out in with the owner. I definitely felt it but I am so pumped. I received so much support from the owner and am really excited to begin working out. I also found out what times were dead and hopefully I can make it work out, I will and there is no excuse to keep me back, short of sickness, of course. I’m still coughing pretty good and I don’t know what to do to stop it. We’re doing Mucinex D now that Sudafed Maximum Strength stopped working. Argh. All three of us have a nasal thing going on.

The week from hell

It’s early in the morning and I can’t seem to pull myself together for work yet, so I will blog. It has been a very busy week. I’ve been on training for a new task at work this week. Last week I was in training for another task I am already familiar with but it was more of a refresher. Now I am so incredibly behind on my work that I was told to work mandatory OT this week and next. I already spoke with my supervisor and advised her that this week was a no-go as I received this news last night. I am working 9 hours today, worked 9 yesterday, and am working a short day tomorrow on purpose (5 hours). So because of working extended hours, I have been up every morning at 5am and I haven’t been sleeping well. There is a lot going on at work and while I have mostly caught up, more stuff is piling up on my desk for me to do. It is overwhelming, but is the nature of the beast. The good news is that it is job stability at least.

I am still sick. In fact, it has gotten worse. It’s turned into a full-blown sinus thing now. Tons of pain, pressure in my sinuses, burning nostrils (inner), and tons of snot coming out. I am staying very hydrated still. Despite this, I have stayed on my A-game with low-carbing and for that, I am quite proud. I didn’t even cheat this weekend. I just wish I could get over whatever this is. I hesitate to go to the doctor because I have a feeling I will be told yet again that this is just a viral infection and anti-biotics won’t even help it. I picked up Mucinex last week for the cough. Last night my boyfriend picked up Sudafed Maximum Strength for me. If that doesn’t work, I will suck it up and pick up Mucinex D, even though it is pricy. If that doesn’t work, I WILL go to the doctor. It’s miserable. I have gone to work in my office and been blowing my nose like a mad woman. I had a teleconference yesterday and forgot to put myself back on mute and was blowing my nose. Then a colleague messaged me and said “You’re not on mute”. Oops. 

I am supposed to meet up with a friend this weekend but I think I will be canceling and just laying low and staying at home and sleeping. I need to do a Costco run and was going to do that tonight, but I just do not feel well. I need to get through this 9 hour day…

Good and bad news

Good news first? I finally signed up with a gym. Bad news? I haven’t worked out yet. Signed up on Saturday, which proved to be a busy day. Was stood up by a friend who was to meet me for coffee. Later on told that she thought we were getting together on Sunday. I roll my eyes because this isn’t the first time it has happened. It will be the last. I am tired of trying, and find myself facing this with 80% of my “friends” (mostly former colleagues) who whine about how they miss me, only to bail on me or not show up at all when we make plans. I can’t stand flaky people.

But I digress.

More bad news. I think the crud is coming back. I woke up feeling really icky, it started last night after the Superbowl ended. My friend brought her German Shepard over, but I am not allergic to dogs, and I don’t have a problem with pet dander, and her dog is well groomed (despite her being a total furbeast! But I do love my niece, yes, I call her my niece). I woke up with a ton of sinus pressure and sore throat and coughing. So yeah, the crud is back. I am on Mucinex, Zyrtec, and used my Astepro nasal spray to combat this. So far no relief except for a icky woozy feeling. I have also had to use my rescue inhaler, which is a steroid – Symbicort. When my allergies kick up, so does the asthma I just developed a year and a half ago. I am dreading Spring and the grass pollen I am allergic to, but I am having issues with breathing now, so Symbicort had to be used, and helped immediately. I originally was on Qvar, but I don’t find it helps as much as Symbicort does, so I have to talk to my allergist about that.

Between feeling sick and trying to stay on the plan and path to committed weight loss, I am starting to feel overwhelmed as my work duties and work load have just gotten a bit more intense, with trainings and new responsibilities (which I am glad to take on, because monotony kills me). I am concerned about what time will be left for me to work out, when I will work out, and if I will be able to use the recumbent bike. I opted for a gym in my town with a small amount of recumbent bikes, because I simply do not want to drive out of my way to work out. I hope I can get a momentum going because right now I am completely overwhelmed with everything. Things never slow down in my life, it’s par for the course.