Dealing with frustration with my weight loss attempts…from constantly being sick to this neck injury that won’t go away, to my problems with staying on the low-carb bandwagon. I feel like the 20 pounds I have lost (last weigh-in was mid or late January) since late October aren’t enough to prove I have gotten far. I’m frustrated with having to answer to my health coach and set stupid goals, and frustrated in general about answering to anyone. I keep trying to tell myself that this is part of the weight loss plan, but it is hard to live up to sometimes.
Another thing that bugs me is when I am done working out on the recumbent bike and I hear “that’s it?” Seriously? For someone who hasn’t worked out in years, to get past 15 minutes doing cardio at this size is pretty damn good. I know they mean well, but I am not 130 lbs soaking wet. I can’t move my body in the ways that they can, and to assume that it is as easy for me as it is for them pisses me off. There is a lot of weight to be moved here, it isn’t as simple as working out for more than 20 minutes for me at this point. I have to build up to it. That being said, I feel like a complete failure this week as I have worked out once and that’s it. I was supposed to go to the gym today, however, I took too many muscle relaxers and pain meds last night so I am loopy, plus it is due to snow hard, and I am not comfortable driving in the snow especially with a bad neck. My boyfriend is working so that is not an option. What am I supposed to do?
The guilt of not being right or not staying on track is driving me insane. Something isn’t clicking for me at the moment and I know I need to, or 20 lbs will be all I see in terms of weight loss. I just want people off of my back and I need the willpower to know I can do this. I was so confident before, but being plagued with illness and now this neck injury makes me cranky and feeling like a failure. I have to start physical therapy for my neck as well, because this is happening far too often.