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Frustration

Dealing with frustration with my weight loss attempts…from constantly being sick to this neck injury that won’t go away, to my problems with staying on the low-carb bandwagon. I feel like the 20 pounds I have lost (last weigh-in was mid or late January) since late October aren’t enough to prove I have gotten far. I’m frustrated with having to answer to my health coach and set stupid goals, and frustrated in general about answering to anyone. I keep trying to tell myself that this is part of the weight loss plan, but it is hard to live up to sometimes.

Another thing that bugs me is when I am done working out on the recumbent bike and I hear “that’s it?” Seriously? For someone who hasn’t worked out in years, to get past 15 minutes doing cardio at this size is pretty damn good. I know they mean well, but I am not 130 lbs soaking wet. I can’t move my body in the ways that they can, and to assume that it is as easy for me as it is for them pisses me off. There is a lot of weight to be moved here, it isn’t as simple as working out for more than 20 minutes for me at this point. I have to build up to it. That being said, I feel like a complete failure this week as I have worked out once and that’s it. I was supposed to go to the gym today, however, I took too many muscle relaxers and pain meds last night so I am loopy, plus it is due to snow hard, and I am not comfortable driving in the snow especially with a bad neck. My boyfriend is working so that is not an option. What am I supposed to do?

The guilt of not being right or not staying on track is driving me insane. Something isn’t clicking for me at the moment and I know I need to, or 20 lbs will be all I see in terms of weight loss. I just want people off of my back and I need the willpower to know I can do this. I was so confident before, but being plagued with illness and now this neck injury makes me cranky and feeling like a failure. I have to start physical therapy for my neck as well, because this is happening far too often.

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About Mommy Needs a Valium

A California girl stuck in the Pacific Northwest.

2 responses to “Frustration

  1. I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling well sweetheart. If you are too loopy to drive to the gym, you can always do squats and march in place for 1 minute intervals. It’ll have you sweating like crazy. Or just get up and dance for 20 minutes to your favorite music. Get out of your head, you are doing fine. In fact you are doing GREAT, don’t let that voice in your head have you judging yourself and make you feel like crap. Your neck is healing, YOU ARE NOT BROKEN!! This is temporary, now get up and dance:-)

  2. Don’t get down! It’s hard sometimes, but you have to find a way to stay positive. It’s never easy, and as you know, sometimes its very difficult. You certainly are NOT a failure. You had that everlasting bug and now you’re hurt.. You’re doing great!

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