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Calorie counting, change, and feeling defeat

I have been using the MyFitnessPal app on my iPhone and it works very well. I was using the Lose It! app prior to MFP, but I like MFP better, and it seems much more user friendly. That being said, so far my caloric intake has been on target. Today that will definitely not be the case…it’s Friday…and I’m allowing a little bit of leeway in my diet tonight. Prior to medical weight loss management, I had only been advised once by another doctor to watch my caloric intake. That was the only successful “diet” I had ever gone on. It’s amazing how much we put in our bodies and amazing that we don’t realize just how many calories we are consuming ever day. Having something like MFP keeps you accountable on just how many calories you are putting into your body. It’s quite simple and there’s an awesome bar code scanning option that will scan any bar code on a food package to add to your list.

Getting to change. Change can be good, change can be challenging. Change with my insurance for next year is going to be a very hard thing to deal with. My weight loss program is going away, but they are still covering weight loss surgery, just not the program anymore. It truly makes me sad, but right now there are so many changes in the insurance industry due to the Affordable Health Care Act. I knew change would happen, but I didn’t realize it would change my weight loss program.

Which leads right into feeling defeat. I feel defeat because I will lose my resources for my weight loss program, and it was free. I’m not going to join a program like Weight Watchers or something when I’m already investing in a program being overseen by a bariatric physician and I am also getting nutrition counseling as well. I have plenty of support at home, but to lose the extra benefits of the weight loss programs, like the personal coach/counseling, as well as having four visits covered, is going to hurt. However, that doesn’t stop me from what needs to be done.

When I spoke with my coach today, something we discussed was the amount of skin that eventually will need to be surgically removed. Earlier this week I had my first visit with my physician and had a Body Composition done, and that showed that I am retaining a LOT of water, more than I could have ever imagined. My physician even mentioned how swollen my abdomen was, I laughed and told him I always thought it was just my fat. Apparently I am retaining a lot of water there, as well. With the water weight loss and the fat weight loss will come a ton of loose skin. Loose skin that simply will need to be removed. I’m trying to get myself mentally prepared for the fact that even past the weight loss through this program, and the potential LapSleeve, I will endure many more surgeries to remove this excess skin. Is it scary? Yes, absolutely. But at the same time, the thought of “shedding the excess skin” sounds like it could be therapeutic and freeing at the same time.

I am excited for what my journey holds ahead of me. I get my nutrition plan next week and will determine what type of foods I should be eat, how often, what my calories should really look like, and how to stay on track. My biggest culprit right now is no appetite (believe it or not). I typically do not eat breakfast or lunch, but that is something I need to change. I can’t eat only one large meal a day. That is not conducive to weight loss, nor is it healthy.

Despite the changes and sometimes feeling defeat, I still have my head held high and ready to tackle this monumental task of losing over 100 pounds of fat. I know I can do it, with the right tools and counseling/advice, I know it is possible.

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About Mommy Needs a Valium

A California girl stuck in the Pacific Northwest.

2 responses to “Calorie counting, change, and feeling defeat

  1. I don’t use MFP much anymore unless there’s a food I really need to research. I eat a lot of the same things, so I know what I’m consuming usually.
    I have the utmost faith in you in your quest. You’re a strong person and you can do this.

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